January 2012
198 posts
"Your Mom" jokes aren't fun once you meet the...
Either they make you feel guilty for saying it because the mother is so nice. Or you realise that it’s actually true, and now it’s a serious insult.
Anonymous asked: Why don't you ever post pictures of yourself?
Anonymous asked: well in that case. in the words of Ned, 'That. Is. TERRIFYING.'
Anonymous asked: i think thats a bit rude. if you post something you obviously want others t read it. Once they read it they become curious. thats all.
Anonymous asked: killed 4 people?!
10 Things That Make Me Crazy:
1. I miss High School. 2. I hate water. 3. I drink soda and eat candy for breakfast. 4. I eat burgers and mac and cheese for dessert. 5. I wear tennis shoes in the middle of Summer. 6. I’ve killed 4 people and don’t feel the slightest guilt. 7. I have this small belief in fate. 8. I like sad songs, books, movies. 9. I prefer French over Spanish. 10. I’m not big on ice cream.
2 tags
Title: You’ll Be In My Heart Artist: Phil...
I never used to classify myself as a good bowler.
I always went for the modest “eh, I’m alright.” Because I’m not great, really. But then I go and bowl against fellow “bowlers” and cream them. Leslie, I wish to bowl with you. Even though you’d cream the creamer.
You're so down on the strikes, they should call...
I waited All Night to finally be able to say this to the only other person who watches Parks, and no one heard me. Blerg.
Just putting Parks quotes as drafts in my phone to...
No bigs.
God Bless America
Customer: Do you have any of these? *gestures to his shoes*
Me: Uh . . . I don't think so. We have the brand, but I don't think I've ever seen that style.
Customer: You know, this is the most popular shoe.
Me: Yeah? The style, you mean, or the brand?
Customer: Yeah, the style. I saw it on the History Channel.
Me: *Looks up to see no sign of humor in this guys face* Oh, yeah?
Customer: Yeah.
Me: . . .
Customer: See what it says there on the tongue?
Me: "Made In USA"
Customer: Yeah. Yeah, I'm not . . . Yeah. I'm not . . . one of those . . .
Me: *anticipating a never-arriving completion of the sentence. Something like " . . .who cares where it's made from."*
Customer: . . .Yeah . . . Yeah . . .
Me: *Getting that he's serious about not wanting a Taiwan product* . . . ok . . .
Customer: Yeah. I'm real a real conservative-type.
Me: *Finishes up with this customer, goes into the stockroom to write this conversation, leaves the stockroom to be stopped by another customer.*
New Customer: You got any shoes here that are made and bought in USA?
Me: Oh, um . . . It's hard to find. Another customer ju . . .
New Customer: All these shoes are made in Indonesia or whatever. Where are the American shoes?
Me: I don't know. Most are made overseas.
New Customer: They size everything different. Earlier, I put a size 12 shoe on a size 10 foot.
Bystander: Their feet are smaller, over there!
New Customer: And their brains!
Me: *Goes into the stock room, laughs out of confusion, looks around for hidden cameras.*
hannahjasmine asked: Yes! i have seen wonderfalls! amazing of course, but i had to watching in pieces on stupid youtube. only reason i didn't like it was Lee Pace's long hair in the beginning -___- haha
2 tags
Watchemlocke:
Shit Liz Lemon Says
It started out as a joke, but it’s becoming rrreeeaaalll!
(via 30 Rock : NBC)
2 tags
Title: What Is The Light? Artist: The Flaming...
“When I was a little kid - around 6 years old, let’s say - I believed that...”
– Hew Kiddo
1 tag
2 tags
Title: Asleep Artist: The Smiths
And I suppose you expect me to start reblogging...
3 tags
“You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be...”
– Will Grayson, Will Grayson
holmesdetective answered your question: What should I do tomorrow?
Watch Sherlock.
But then I have to download it, and wait for it, and that’s just so much work. But I should just download it so I can watch it on a later date. Elementary, my dear.
What should I do tomorrow?
It’s my only day off of work. Should I: 1. Read Will Grayson, Will Grayson? 2. Re-Read The Catcher in the Rye? 3. Re-Watch Pushing Daisies II. 4. Watch 30Rock I. 5. Any other idea or combination of the above. (No combining books) I’m leaning toward the combination of Will Grayson Will Grayson and 30Rock.
2 tags
Title: I Will Survive Artist: Gloria Gaynor
I don't know what you'd classify my accent as
It’s like Chicagonian had a baby with Canadian and that baby had a baby with Scottish and that baby had a baby with Stuttering Jibberish.
I want someone to love me the way Leslie loves Ann
Just because Eric Forman took a year off of...
It doesn’t. But that’s not stopping me.
Me: I should really go to bed
Stomach: Ok, but I want some sugar.
Mouth: Ok, but I want a soda.
Brain: Ok, but I love this episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, so let's watch this.
Heart: Ok, but I have this little fantasy I want to try out, first.
2 tags
Title: Twenty Years Artist: Augustana
3 tags
1 tag
People aren’t dogs and cats. I can’t just pet them when they come by me. I can’t just give them a hug when I feel like giving them a hug. I can’t call them over and ask them to sit by me when they are across the room, even if I could use the company. And I especially can’t find it in me to let them lick me whenever they please.
It’s a weird feeling, being completely secluded from modern media. Not having a clue what is going on in the world. Turning on the radio (to a station that isn’t 90’s or earlier) and having absolutely no idea what the song is while everyone else is singing along. Knowing nothing but your own music. Your own books. Your own TV shows.
If you like it so much, then why don't you reblog...
The problem is I don't know where my irony stops...
1 tag
3 tags
Title: Copacabana Artist: Barry Manilow
1 tag
1 tag
Title: Pamphleteer Artist: The Weakerthans
2 tags
In The Sun
I can’t help but hear her say “We all get the shits sometimes, everyday.”