This Curious Trickery

God Bless America

• Customer: Do you have any of these? *gestures to his shoes*
• Me: Uh . . . I don't think so. We have the brand, but I don't think I've ever seen that style.
• Customer: You know, this is the most popular shoe.
• Me: Yeah? The style, you mean, or the brand?
• Customer: Yeah, the style. I saw it on the History Channel.
• Me: *Looks up to see no sign of humor in this guys face* Oh, yeah?
• Customer: Yeah.
• Me: . . .
• Customer: See what it says there on the tongue?
• Me: "Made In USA"
• Customer: Yeah. Yeah, I'm not . . . Yeah. I'm not . . . one of those . . .
• Me: *anticipating a never-arriving completion of the sentence. Something like " . . .who cares where it's made from."*
• Customer: . . .Yeah . . . Yeah . . .
• Me: *Getting that he's serious about not wanting a Taiwan product* . . . ok . . .
• Customer: Yeah. I'm real a real conservative-type.
• Me: *Finishes up with this customer, goes into the stockroom to write this conversation, leaves the stockroom to be stopped by another customer.*
• New Customer: You got any shoes here that are made and bought in USA?
• Me: Oh, um . . . It's hard to find. Another customer ju . . .
• New Customer: All these shoes are made in Indonesia or whatever. Where are the American shoes?
• Me: I don't know. Most are made overseas.
• New Customer: They size everything different. Earlier, I put a size 12 shoe on a size 10 foot.
• Bystander: Their feet are smaller, over there!
• New Customer: And their brains!
• Me: *Goes into the stock room, laughs out of confusion, looks around for hidden cameras.*